I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i would punch a child for taco bell
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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