Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
