Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
