At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
