He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
