So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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