just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize