I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
