I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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