I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize