I'm jealous of your bromance
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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