Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
