No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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