Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
