so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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