i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
