I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We need to get me chipped asap
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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