and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
smell my finger.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
