He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
