I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hippo gnu deer
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
