Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
