Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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