No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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