She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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