guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize