bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
