his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
