thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
