I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
