whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize