Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
