It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
