i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
