There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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