Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just cropdusted the office
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
