If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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