why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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