Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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