When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She bit a glass in half.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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