dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
