i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
