life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
