you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
