I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
