i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
