i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
