my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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