ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
