This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
