So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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