No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
