Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
