census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
