I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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