So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
