I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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