there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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