I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
