my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
