Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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