I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
