im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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