I cannot find my penis.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize