If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
