would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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