This is not my ceiling
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
