how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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