i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
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The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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